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Author of The Swithen novel series (www.theswithen.com). Movie reviews at Telekfilm on Medium. Content Strategist. Hints of citrus and sandalwood.

Command Center Salad Bar!

Released:1979
Director: Ronald Neame
Starring: Sean Connery, Natalie Wood, Karl Malden, Martin Landau
The Setup: There’s a giant asteroid heading smack-dab toward Earth!

Let’s discuss:
From purveyor of really fun trash Samuel Z. Arkoff comes this late disaster movie, which was pretty much the last gasp of…


Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong wrong

Released: 1988
Director: Roland Emmerich
Starring: Matthew Broderick, Maria Pitillo, Jean Reno, Hank Azaria
The Setup: American would-be franchise that shot itself in the foot on its first try.

Let’s discuss:
After watching the restored Gojira, the first Godzilla film, again recently, suddenly I was possessed…


Beware rogue ocean rocks

Released: 1995
Director: Irwin Winkler
Starring: Sandra Bullock, Jeremy Northam, Dennis Miller
The Setup: Computer expert gets involved in Internet-based espionage!

Let’s discuss:
A friend who with a long-time, intimate knowledge of my cheesy movie preferences nevertheless asked me “WHY would you want to watch THAT?” upon…


David Cronenbergs: Fleshdance

Released: 1983
Director: Adrian Lyne
Starring: Jennifer Beals, Michael Nouri, Lilia Skala, Sunny Johnson
The Setup: She’s a welder! And a dancer! And she has hopes and dreams, so she trades her body to an older man to advance her interests.

Let’s discuss:
Sometimes in life you’re just…


We’ll never make it through the Great Barrier! We have no chance of… Oh, I guess that worked, then.

Released: 1989
Director: William Shatner
Starring: William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, DeForest Kelley, Laurence Luckinbill, Nichelle Nichols
The Setup: Cosmic religious zealot hijacks the Enterprise to go meet God.

Let’s discuss:
So my…


Versailles

Released: 1984
Director: David Lynch
Starring: Kyle MacLachlan, Francesca Annis, Jurgen Prochnow, Everett McGill, Jose Ferrer
The Setup: Huge sweeping space epic about a space messiah.

Let’s discuss:
Ya know, the more you delve into science fiction, the more you realize that Star Wars was just a clever melange of…


2 Fast 2 Furious

Released: 2016
Director: Justin Lin
Starring: Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Karl Urban, Idris Elba
The Setup: First new Trek without JJ Abrams takes a different direction.

Let’s discuss:
So let’s review. Paramount hired JJ Abrams to reboot Star Trek, which he did fairly well, once you accept…


Don’t let that sledgehammer hit you over the head!

Released: 2001
Director: Steven Spielberg
Starring: Haley Joel Osment, Jude Law, Frances O’Connor, William HurtThe Setup: Robot boy has Pinocchio complex.

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I haven’t seen this since it was initially released, when I was really put off by a last-minute time…


If it’s slow and boring, it must be an art film!

Released: 2021
Director: David Lowery
Starring: Dev Patel, Alicia Vikander, Joel Edgerton, Sarita Choudbury

I’ve been looking forward to seeing this movie for over two years. The first trailers were out far before the pandemic and promised an artful…


You want to live like common people

Released: 1987
Director: Menahem Golan
Starring: Sylvester Stallone, David Mendenhall, Rick Zumwalt, Robert Loggia, Susan Blakely
The Setup: Guy travels cross-country with his son as a bonding exercise while heading toward the World Arm Wrestling Championship.

Let’s discuss:
I don’t know why this suddenly…

Scott Telek

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